A 48 minute audio download of
as revealed to Marshall Vian Summers
on July 4, 2008
in Boulder, Colorado
"There are three stages in one’s overall development. There is dependence. There is independence. And there is interdependence. In the simplest way, this is demonstrated in people’s lives by the fact that they are very dependent when they are infants and young children, slowly growing out of dependence to a state of independence as adolescents or young adults, when they begin to differentiate from their parents and family. Then there is interdependence, when they are married and have a family or unite with other people in spiritual community and so forth.
But this definition really does not capture the real meaning of these three stages of development. For people can remain dependent for their whole lives—psychologically and emotionally dependent—even if they are physically able. They may pass through adolescence and adulthood in this state. They may even marry and have a family and still be fundamentally in a state of dependence, never having learned to think for themselves sufficiently. They just attach themselves to whomever they feel will give them stability and security. In fact, this is quite common.
Within a marriage itself, these three stages can be manifested. When people first meet, they may be very dependent upon each other emotionally. They do not want to spend a day apart. And when they have children they are dependent upon each other, too, but they become more independent as their children grow. And beyond this, they may become more independent at a higher level, at a more spiritual level. But this often does not occur.
Some people reach a state of indepence, but never graduate beyond it, unable to really unite with another, to share their power with another, to yield sufficiently to another so that they can work together as a team. There are many people who never are able to move beyond this intermediate stage of independence."
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